What I wanted to tell you but i’ve already told you enough you don’t wanna hear about it anymore

You know I was wondering that if the universe had to choose between us, I want it to be you.

I want you to be happy and I want it to make up for all the hurt it caused you. I want you to make sense of all this brokenness and I want to tell you that there’s a place you can always go to. There’s a place you’re always welcome and I know you hate me and that you get tired of all this and sometimes you just wanna be left alone. And these words don’t mean anything anymore. I know i’m not the person who can make this all right for you but here even in silence I want you to know that really, someone loves you, like your whole being. Even if the love you had for me or whatever it is has long been gone, mine will endure. And I don’t know about the rest of the world but I will remember you. I’ll remember you well and i’ll remember you fondly. And when I die. I just want a glimpse of your face.

And that every time you’re hurting I feel it too and I just want to bear it with you and that my own pain is nothing if I can just make you feel better just a bit. And I know that you don’t need it anymore. And i’m not the person you want to tell you that it’s gonna be okay. But it will. And I know I know I say a lot of things. But I just wanna keep loving you and say prayers for you. And that you have a friend here. Always. I don’t care if this has turned to many confusing things and things that are shallow and fleeting, but at the end of all this I want to tell you that I am your friend. I don’t care if I cannot touch your or hold you again even if God, that was the best thing my hands ever held. I just wanna be your friend. And you can always tell me things. Anything. And I’ll promise you I will listen I will not tire I will not get bored I will not stop. And if it gets too painful to talk about it I will just stay with you. And you don’t have to say anything. But i’ll be here as long as you need me. As long as i’m of any use to you I don’t care how small it is. Just ask. Just say the word.

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