Whenever I look at you I see the boy from Day One. He was lovely, he was kind, a little bit lost, a little bit unsure. He chases after a dream, he believes in the one thing that keeps him alive.
The path he took to stand beside me today, before our God, our family, our friends- was not particularly an easy one. That’s an understatement. The path you took my love, is of sacrifices. It was taking in all the accusations, and blame, the words that hurt the most. It was an endless pursuit of trying to prove to the world that we weren’t wrong. It was an endless battle of trying to argue with ourselves because maybe we were wrong after all. It was hard- trying to ask for forgiveness from ourselves and the people we loved.
But you held on. And today I am facing the man I have loved from when he was a boy. I am receiving the gift of his love and I take it all completely- the scars, the joy, the pain- all of it.
I don’t even know if an entire lifetime will be enough to make up for all the fight you put up to get here, and to get us here.
So today, I won’t make you promises. I will swear to you a sacred oath.
I swear to keep quiet when you watch your games.
I swear to listen to the music you like to keep me sane when you’re not around.
I swear to do my own thing to not disturb you when you’re studying or working.
I swear to sit up straight to not distract you. I swear to lean on the window in bus rides. To not distract you.
I swear to forgive you for the mistakes you don’t even know you made. I will tell you if I am upset. I swear to call you out on your bullshit. I swear to set you straight even if it meant arguing.
I swear to be there for you as you reach for your dreams. I will never let anything keep you from realizing your dreams, even myself.
I swear to be honest. All the time. I swear to not make the same mistake we made. I swear not to let anybody in, because you’re enough and always enough.
I swear to be better for myself and for us. I swear to help you be who you wanted to be. I swear to be by your side to cheer you up and make you smile. I swear to be by your side in times I don’t even know what to do or what to say to make you alright. I will listen to you like I always have. I swear that you can always tell me anything. I swear that we’ll be a team and I can be your friend.
I swear to be someone you’ll be proud of having. I swear that we’ll get through even the times that are boring.
I swear to listen to your laugh, your scream, your silence.
I swear to listen to you talk about the things you hate and the things you love.
Because what turns you on, turns me on. What frightens you, scares me. What makes you mad, angers me. The things that are important to you, matters to me.
Because I love your life more than I ever did with mine. Because I love who you are and who you love and what you love as much as I love you.
And I can’t wait to share that life with you. But I know I will never get the chance to. But I thought you might wanna know anyway.