Downcast

Nothing happening in my life right now. I am bothered by the number of times I use the word nothing. It just feels so empty right now. Like nothing I ever do has any sense. There is in fact no single thing that I think I have really been doing that’s worthwhile. And I find no poetic way to say it. I just wanna let it out hoping it’ll leave me. I am a lost kid and I cling on to people keep my sanity. I am lost and really really lost. I don’t know. I can’t depend on you and I don’t want to start weighing you down. But I feel really alone. Right now. I feel so alone. I need to be me to you but you can’t take it. You need the better version of me which I cannot be. But you see you’re my last hope. You are number 26. And it’s just a cycle of hopes and sadness after you. It’s just a series if pleasures that keeps me swimming in mud. It has to be you.P1

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