Or how I managed a blog entry out of you.
I have never really believed that I like you for one obvious reason- you are not my type. I know my type of guy very well and he isn’t in every bit you. I have never even written about you until now. And this acts as the final surrender.
And this is the note I am writing to remind myself how special you were when the time comes that I no longer see that you’re worth it. And this is the thing you might never understand until we (or I) finally come to terms with our (my) feelings.
And the idea of not prolonging the agony, of just letting you stay away from me is as tempting as this recollection. And perhaps it’s what I need- a confrontation. Too early? Not anymore. Not anymore when i’m already scared of what you mean to me. So run away while I still can manage not to chase you.
Switching songs between Coldplay, or One Republic thinking about losing myself with you or Sugarfree’s perpetual soundtrack to waking up in the morning knowing you are not mine. Of letting you go before six knowing you like someone else. And it never turned out the way I hoped it will. That I could make a dream you spoke of come true by giving you a place in my heart. And now you earned it, when perhaps you don’t want it anymore. You earned it while I am busy thinking you’re certainly not one to have such. You earned it and now I am not giving you a place in my heart, I am giving you all of it.