thoughts you never knew

I envy your reluctance to give second chances.

I envy your lips, too afraid to kiss, too afraid to say words more powerful than a kiss.

I envy your forgetful heart, its submission to your objective mind.

I envy your loneliness, too swift, too short.

 

But it is you who must envy me.

 

I have treasured most of your memories and my heart does not forget.

They put tears in my eyes now but eventually they would inspire me to smile.

They would remind me for long that there are better things in life.

 

You must envy me because I have loved you and I have admitted it.

You must envy me because this has made me strong. Strong enough to love you still to love you again and to love you til it hurts and it hurts and it hurts no more. And this is how I say goodbye. I’m writing you. I’m putting you down in words.

 

I am doing for myself what you can never do for me.

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